Social Expectations

I lack speaking skills. I don’t know what to do in informal situations. Sure in a debate I can survive but when it comes to complete randomness I’m at a loss for words(I’m not that great at debating either). The conversation seems utterly pointless to me and all I can think is, ‘so what?’ or ‘what’s the point of even talking about this?’ and what not. Then people think I’m quiet, so I talk. I say complete crap and it’s such a strain that when I’m free from the group I feel like I need a time out.

That’s where the beauty of friendship lies though. The fact that even complete crap feels relevant. That silence is comfortable. That just being with them is relaxing and you’re left wondering why you tried so hard with people you didn’t need. All you needed was them.

When I’m with people I usually force myself to say things, not all the time, just mostly. Why though? I shouldn’t talk just to make the awkwardness go away or because I feel that’s what is socially required. I should be comfortable in silence. Which I am not. Which I shall work on, spouting nonsense is pretty tiring. That’s why I respect quiet people a little, they don’t feel obligated to be in the conversation. They observe from the sidelines with cool indifference and only talk when the fancy strikes them. That is something I aspire to do. To speak when I want to.

Hypothetically, what if I never want to? Well logically even then it’s fine. Who is society to tell me when to talk?

3 thoughts on “Social Expectations

  1. Great post :) sometimes silence speaks a thousand words. I happen to know a lot of people and many of them consider me to be their friend, however my definition of a friend is very different to theirs. I have 3 people who I truly consider my friend and they are the ones that don’t mind when I sit in silence :D. I personally think by being the quite observer, it helps us to gain a very unique perspective of the world. Thanks for sharing.

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