There’s an alone only I know

And as I sit on the other side of the wall, unable to sleep from the bruises and the loneliness; to have you to close yet so far and indifferent. The bruises are getting slightly numb from the cold and I thought my feelings were too as I listened to your carefree laughter from the room. But as I type this, some tears spill free. Tears I had wanted to flow but that couldn’t make until I put these thoughts into written words.

Gazing at the snow capped mountains and the twinkling stars, I wonder why I ever forgot I was always actually alone. How had I let myself slip this far. And a new resolve simmers though I fear for its short lifespan because how can I be mad at the person I love with all my heart. Yes it hurts, I can’t sleep from the mental and physical pain, same as yesterday. But I had also just yesterday read a quote by Paulo Coelho that I told myself I would try to live by and learn be grateful.

Considering the way the world is, one happy day is almost a miracle.

And happy days I have had. So I shall smile and act as though nothing has changed and all is fine but deep down, I just rediscovered my long lost truth. I am alone. ~ 1706

2 responses

  1. This concerns me. Are they literal bruises or metaphorical bruises? How did you get them?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, that’s kinda sweet. Thank you for the concern ♥️
      Real bruises but not from abuse, from a snow fight when our group was climbing the mountain.

      Liked by 1 person

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