Tag Archives: Dreaming

Reality and it’s loopholes

Is it so bad to live in a fantasy world? What even is reality? What if you just took some facts from the ‘real’ world and molded them into you’re fantasy? Plausible deniability.

Ok wait what even is reality? I mean we hardly ever have all the hard facts anyway. We have a few and we deduce the rest. Is it reality when you’re deductions are cynical and a fantasy when you dream for beautiful things. Other people will say so. They’ll say you’re lining yourself up for disappointment, sure that may be possible, but what you think will happen isn’t going to affect what will happen. So at least the moment till the truth hits is magical. Whereas for the realists it’s bleak. The end will be the same. (Though Noetic Science suggests our thoughts affect the outcome, just saying) What if the end was great? You didn’t waste your time and mood in worry. If it didn’t work out, well for a moment you thought it would, you had hope. Worry cripples you, hope paints a picture that adds a skip to your step. Life’s too short to spend all that time worrying and anticipating the worst.

I’ve been depressed for so long I got sick of it. I choose my fantasy. The world where I will travel across the globe. The world where I can start an orphanage and school. The world where I can be a book author. The world where the little things don’t bug me so much. The world where I can make a difference. The world where adventures are real not just in books. The world where anything is possible.

I’m a very nostalgic person. Someone who looks back and wishes she had more time. Sometimes impatient with the present while comparing it to the past. But as I mentioned in a previous post I found a little idea on how not to let it bother me so much. It goes along the lines of,’ at least it happened’. You know, at least I have those memories to cherish, what if I never had them? I wouldn’t trade them. You can draw strength from the good times to get through the bad.

Isn’t it amazing how you had such a good time in the past you can’t stand the present? It’s a credit to your past. And come on, you can’t have it good all the way through life. Through the present, let the past power the light in your eyes and the brightness of your smile.

Spread the love. Keep yourself happy. Brighten up other people’s world with your optimism too. Happiness is a state of mind you make for yourself. If you want to be sad you’ll find a thousand reasons, if you want to be happy you’ll find a thousand reasons. Depends what you’re looking for.
Reality usually has loopholes.

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Half of me

As the alarm blared from the bedside she mulled over the thought of going to college. She had International Relations and Economics today, her attendance was low and she couldn’t afford to take a day off if she had the option.

Lying in bed she looked up at the ceiling and sighed. It had been 6 months since she started going to B.Sc classes at Government College University but she still hated it. Stuck in the past, every day dragged by unless she immersed herself with events and work. And so she did. She joined all the societies she was presented with and got involved in everything she could. They kept her occupied with less time to sit and brood. But she felt lost. She couldn’t stop, but she wondered why she’d joined in the first place. She didn’t want to stop but she wondered when she’d get to her actual dreams. Every day they seemed more and more fictitious, more and more distant.

She socialized yes, but it felt like going through the motions. For the life of her she couldn’t understand why she felt so detached. Less than a shadow of herself. When did smiles become forced and painful? When did crowds become so lonely?

Rubbing her eyes, though she wasn’t tired, she trudged downstairs; too lazy to change. The person staring back at her through mirrors was hardly recognizable, her mouth literally drooped and sometimes she liked it that way. Other times she would practice smiling to herself because of how alien it was getting.

She didn’t understand what she wanted, she knew she couldn’t get her friends back, they were all far away and though they still talked, she needed them with her. She wanted them every day. But the fact was she couldn’t. So why the sadness? She should move on, she had accepted their distance, but she still craved their presence. It was pathetic. Was this about them or was it something else?

Fact was, she was stuck, stuck at the University for 5 years. She was ready to go into the world and work. To go on adventures and see the real world. But this was just the same old routine she’d gone through in college. Things were supposed to be different now. Not in another 5 years, now. Would things ever change? They had to change; if they didn’t she didn’t know what she would do. She already fantasized about just leaving everything and trying her luck. Heck even kidnap.10313742_738551186194935_728610703389332387_n

Sitting on the sofa, waiting for the bus to come she played videos of ‘nigahiga‘ on her phone to try and cheer herself up. To wake up just a little……….

Abstract Gitch Mitch

Gitch Mitch

If in a state of mega boredom then,

Look to the skies. The skies never fail.

So yesterday I was stuck at academy for a good two hours. In the cold, with my hands freezing, my feet would have been too but thank God I was wearing boots. My phone wasn’t working, can you believe my luck? Anyway, so basically I was bored cause it was a Saturday and I was the only Einstein who showed up. Well there were some boys there but they were strangers so they don’t count. Plus they were studying.

So I started listening to songs on my phone and looked up, out of habit. It was a cloudless sky, boring.But then I saw swarms of eagles flying here and there. I started observing them. From experience I know the ones back home hate me. Even though I’ve tried to get them to like me, they’re stubborn. Coming back to the story, I noticed that the wing and tail patterns of these eagles were different from each other and, since I’d given my biology midterm that day, I wanted to note down my ‘research’. To study how the different phenotype’s benefited the eagle who had it. Survival of the fittest being the law and all.

I have a feeling my eagle friends back home told these guys stuff about me. I swear whatever they said wasn’t true, but these poor fella’s didn’t know that. Nor did they let me clarify. As soon as I took my notebook out to draw them as they flew overhead, they stopped flying over head. They all ditched me. The nerve of them. Stopping me from my dreams of being a biologist. But I can be stubborn too, plus I had time. Lots and lots of time. So I sat there, staring obstinately and I managed to draw them, with no help from them at all.

The moral of the story being, the skies never fail, though the ones in them might 😛 So if the eagles don’t like you, no hard feelings, I’d like to believe they don’t like anyone. And if the skies themselves fail you…..well then your doomed. 🙂 jk

My research

My research

Cloud patterns

This one is an old picture I took from my iPad this summer when I went to Multan, Pakistan.

More Clouds

True, I post tonnes of cloud pictures, but what can I do? It’s their fault. They always look so breathtaking. 

24 hours? So not enough

This is the dilemma I face when the college season starts and I don’t think its gonna improve when I move on to university.  Well that’s IF I even get into a university. Keeping up with the school syllabus,doing homework, planning school events, researching on universities and studying for their entry tests……that’s the stuff I should do and need to do. Of course I’m not going to spend my day doing JUST that, I have a policy that I have to have breaks, for Facebook, movies, music etc. So all in all this long to-do list just can’t be completed within 24 hours. Unless maybe I give up on my sleep, and nope that’s not an option because I love sleeping.

So here are the situations in which a day could be longer….. or could get everything that needs to be done done.

When the earth was formed and decided to start spinning, it could have shown people like me some consideration and spun more slowly, another hour or two would have been welcome with open arms……….The earth could have gotten pulled by the suns gravity a little further away than it is now so there could be more days in a year and hence they teach less per day and give more time for people to do stuff like 200 hours of community service…….But nooooo did the earth or the sun do this? I don’t think the sun would have even noticed if the earth shuffled away a little, but the earth is too ‘attracted’ to the great ball of fire…. When we all get over heated by global warming, the earth will realize the importance of this rant. But no amount of cryings gonna bring us back….no sirree.

OK if the earths going to be stubborn I could hope for a HUGE comet or asteroid to hit the earth and shove it away since its not going to move with nice requests. Of course the asteroid in question would tell us its coming to save the day so we can make preparations to not die when it hits. =P Lol I know this is all pretty far fetched and what not but it sure is fun to imagine and describe xD

Hmmm the earths not the only one that could move this way or that….. the school could change its timings so that they’re more adequate. Like starting at 10 or 11 so the students can get a good nights sleep, end at around 2 or 3. Not that that’ll help much because students are going to be students,no matter how late or early school starts they are going to have problems. I admit that, and yeah I could let go of some of my leisure time but that’s not going to help my situation because I’ve read that without taking breaks your not as productive as you could be 😛 So that’s my excuse. Pretty valid if you ask me.

Dreaming big and the reality

What I want for the future is a world with less poverty,misery etc. I want to help the world be a better place, do my part in the process and help as many people as I can. Those are my plans for the future. Setting up an orphanage, building a  hydro-electric power plant, governing a school according to my ideals, going from place to place helping people from under privileged areas and more……..

So when I think about what I want to become I can’t decide. What would be best? What am I interested in? My family wants me to be a doctor. I love science and yeah I can save lots of lives and what not. But I want to help cure diseases too….and that falls under the category of Biochemistry,I think.

Then there’s the problem of which university to apply for…Its so difficult to choose.Lol even if I manage to choose its so damn hard to apply! There are like so much procedures and what not. For someone as lazy as me its too much of a hassle. But its got to be done I guess.

I want to do as much as I can. But I need to be independent for that. So I need to study and get myself a job too so that I have the finance to carry out my plans. I’m still gonna try my best and do what I can even now. I might join a SOS village as an intern over the summer, maybe a hospital too if my parents allow it. Lets see….. imagining something is so much easier than implementing it. I need a full scale plan, but its seems like so much work. Don’t get me wrong that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do it. It just means that I’m trying…..

Think big

Think big

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