Tag Archives: freedom

The shackles of integration

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To be free like the wind and clouds ❤

It’s hard to explain. How the more integrated I get, the more I just want to stay at home. Every day, I make myself go because I have work to do. Sometimes I want people to talk to me, at others I just want to be alone. I don’t understand what to say, it feels awkward and I get easily overwhelmed. In contrast, I want to do things. I want people to value my opinion. It makes no sense.

I dislike being watched. That may be it. I love the freedom you have when no one’s observing you, like when you’re new to a place and no one looks twice or has any expectations. It’s so utterly freeing, like you can do anything. The more you get accustomed to a place, the more familiar it becomes, the more you get molded into a particular character and role, and the harder it is to break free. That exasperates me, it dims the thrill of a new day. It’s frustrating.

Right now, I want to skip college for a few days, until people kind of forget me and then I can go back and get some semblance of invisibility. But then now I’m ‘Girls Representative’ (the equivalent of prefect) and I have to be responsible. I understand that. I will be responsible and do what I should, but………. I get confused on what to say to people sometimes. I get uncomfortable and totally useless. That’s my problem though, and I’ll handle it. Right now that means talking excessively and over-compensating.

Well I don’t want to waste your time with just this rant, let’s be productive. Ummmm…. well if it does become too much I think I am entitled to a few days off. So that’s OK. And getting uncomfortable around people, let’s be serious, everyone feels that way…. I should just…. bear it? No man, that’s belittling it, that aint right. Let’s work on that. Try different things out…… Oh God this last paragraph is stupid.

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Eren Jaegar – Attack on Titan

'When we're born, all of us are free. The burning water, the land of ice....I don't care what! Anyone who saw those things would be the freest person in the world.' ~Eren Jaegar

‘When we’re born, all of us are free. The burning water, the land of ice….I don’t care what! Anyone who saw those things would be the freest person in the world.’ ~Eren Jaegar

Something I liked…

Freedom of expression without responsibility leads to chaos~SomethingIReadOnTv

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