What does it mean? To be a friend. To laugh around a coffee table, walk through school corridors, have lunch together? To be there through everything, good or bad. What is it really?
Is it time? Does time together simply add up and you grow comfortable with a person or a routine?
What if you disagree on things, important things? What if you have a fight? What if their viewpoints and thoughts conflict with your own?
A friend is someone who thinks of you.
A friend is someone who will be there for you.
A friend is someone you can differ with without the love diminishing.
A friend is someone who is honest with you.
A friend is someone who loves you.
Friends have ups and downs. There may come a time when your friend does something you think you can never forgive them for. You think that things can never go back to how they were. But if you try to make things work regardless, it’s worth it. If you abandon them when things seem bad or are bad, just think, who will be there for them if not you? What if it was you who was going through the thing, wouldn’t you want someone to reason with you rather than just turn the other way?
You may not think they’re listening but what you say does matter.
Your friend deserves the truth. When he/she asks for it, give it; even if it’s not something they want to hear. That’s the hallmark of a true friend. Not being afraid to say what needs to be said, or giving an honest opinion. Not to mention being there even when the friend fails to follow your advice.
As you grow older and with more and more things to deal with, you may grow apart from your friends and when you disagree it may just be easier to take them out of your life. You have a new life now, with a different circle and you hardly see them anyway. Personally though, I don’t think you should let go of a friendship based on how hard it is for you to deal with them. They’re a part of you, no matter what. If you love them, work past the pain and hurt. That may just be because I can’t cut anyone out of my life, but it’s also because I don’t believe in it. Once a part of you, always a part of you. Cutting people out is giving up on your relationships, and no worthwhile relationship is without a bit of work and a bit of compromise. Respecting differences is applicable to anyone you meet.
I may be wrong, I may have missed things out or maybe been a bit too masochistic for some people. Let me know in the comments.
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
To ask how you are
To remember the dates
Is it too intense?
Am I coming off strong?
Part of me wants to hold back
Part of me pushes on
Am I taken for granted?
Do you really care?
I feign nonchalance
My insides squirming
Are you upset?
Are you OK?
Worry eats at me
The act doesn’t last long
How are you?
Am I annoying?
I can’t let go
I can’t loosen the reigns
What are you going through?
Can I help?
I cling to our memories
Drawing strength from their strength
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
Thoughts running amuck
I’m sorry I can’t be more cool
I’m sorry I’m such a fool
I have a pretty bleak outlook on life sometimes. You might know it; it’s the one where you don’t really see the point in anything because you’re just like ‘ we’re all going to die anyway’. Or you can’t enjoy anything because it’s all so predictable. There’s the other outlook as well, where all you can think of is what might have been, how much you miss your friends, the old carefree times, how you’re not where you wanted to be in life, doubting your dreams etc.
Yeap, I go down that lane often. Too often. But today I had a thought. I miss my granddad, I miss my friends, but what if I’d never had those moments with them? The memories I cling to and cherish? Where would I be without them? WHO would I be without them? Looking back on those moments I shouldn’t fall on my knees in misery, I shouldn’t hug pillows to my chest and try to cover the gaping hole in my heart. I should remember and be grateful that fate had smiled on me so warmly. That I had had such a great granddad, that I had been so fortunate as to have had such awesome friends.
Looking back, take a deep breath and feel the euphoria. All those memories, all those people, they are with you. No one can take those times away from you. When you think that life is predictable, wake up and smell the sweet summer air because life is anything but predictable. That’s the beauty of it. No matter how sure you are, you’re wrong.
Yes, yes we’re all going to die, but does that mean we can’t have some fun before we go? That we can’t enjoy these things called emotions, that if allowed, can wreak havoc on our minds in the most beautiful of ways? Don’t buffer the love inside you, let other people feel it too. Don’t let the hate and jealousy fester inside of you, reason with it. It’s one thing to be realistic, it’s another to know the cold hard facts, and to play with them.
Be grateful for what you had, never lose hope that there won’t be more. If the current circumstances aren’t working for you, it’s OK to indulge in your memories of better times, it’s not living in the past, it’s finding a way to get through the present.
Time’s gone by
We never saw it passing
Each second with you guys
Taken for granted
Now with this gaping hole between us
My heart drops as the days pass on
Yearning for your company
For our souls to meet again
To think, there was a time
When you were all there
At the same place
At the same time
I won’t lie, I’ve fantasized about crimes
The world has me desperate
Fate has me frustrated
Tears brim behind my eyes
Your love gives me strength
Crumbling me at the same time
I’ll fight days, weeks, years
With the hope that we
We shall meet once again
All of us, at the same place
At the same time
I sigh loudly as I watch the old woman, jogging past in her track suit. Her smile, her passion and her love for life usually make me all warm and fuzzy inside. Today, I feel nothing. If she can’t lift my mood, no one can. Hoisting my backpack on my shoulders I begin the twenty minute walk to my school, eyes down, mouth slack. The cracks in the concrete don’t entice me, I no longer care what magical world could possibly be lurking inside or what wild species of bugs might have mutated to survive such drab conditions. It does not matter.
My feet move mechanically. I know the path like I know my house, who cares about the back of my hand. The colours in the world aren’t as bright. Is it just me, or is life pointless? My thoughts are wandering. If I don’t control them, they could wreak havoc. I submit, they can do what they want, I feel masochistic as they slowly unfold. One after the other the pictures, the memories rise from behind the withering shield. My granddads smile, his warm hugs and his love……a flashback of me holding his hand, walking home from school. Another flashback, him favouring me over my brother….my eyes start to water. He’s taking me with him to Queens market now, we’re on a bus and he’s gazing out the window, he pats my back. My breathing gets heavier. He looks at me, with his big blue eyes, disoriented from the medication, so weak, so helpless, but still he pulls me closer and tells me he’s proud of me. I try breathing slowly and deeply……. It was a mistake to let it come out, I’m a few streets away from the school. I don’t want anyone to see me like this, I don’t want anyone’s sympathy. I wipe away the tears that apparently spilt without my consent. There’s not point in crying, I should pray for him.
As I round the corner, my name being yelled out breaks me out of my reverie. I look up, confused as a shape hurtles towards me and yanks me into a choke hold. I gasp and register the familiar scent of lotion. I laugh and untangle myself from my best friend’s arms. I grin at the group of teens before me. With them, I can forget for the time being. All is right. I am safe.
There was an understanding
An agreement between hearts
That was so secure,full of trust
School was a hangout
Everyday an adventure
Where missing out on one day
Was pure torture
Talking, as easy as breathing
Laughing as effortless as blinking
Always knowing you weren’t being judged
A sense of freedom and confidence
A pack that was invincible
We didn’t need the world
Too good to last
Time caught up with us
Tearing us apart
Throwing reality in our faces
Looking back on it all
The times feel too good to be real
A dream way too surreal
I look around
Seeing the holes your absence has left
Who ever knew they’d be as deep as they are
But wait, they’re not just there
They’re in here too
In a heart that yearns for your presence,my dear friend
In a heart that knows skyping isn’t enough
Knows that the times are only gonna get more tough
My dear friend won’t you come back?
And fill my world with what it lacks
Excited.This may or may not be how you feel the night or even day before the first day of school after a long and pretty great summer vacation but I’m pumped. I look forward to seeing all my friends again,to actually have something meaningful to do during the time I’m normally sleeping, to start planning and working on projects and to start getting on with my last year of college! Next year its university for me! InshAllah ( if God wills)
I can pretty much predict most of whats gonna happen tommorow…… I’m gonna go to school and be pretty early so I’m gonna sit in the common room with a book (presently reading ‘The host’ by Stephanie Meyer) and wait. After a while people will start to come and ask how my holidays went and congratulate me on my grades. My friends will most probably be the last ones to get to school and then the fun will start 😀 My friends are awesome! You just CAN’T be bored with them around and we always have plenty to talk about. During every period in the day my classmates will try and get the teacher to give us a free lesson cause its the first day, and they won’t get it 😛 The day goes on……I look after my cousins who are new to the school…..kids come up to me and ask about the cricket matches and make other demands, or they might leave that for day 2 or even 3. Might not sound good to you but I’m pretty sure its going to be fun! This is just what i expect. With my friends there its going to be awesome!The one of the things I’m dreading is the praise I MIGHT get for my marks,hopefully people are over it *fingers crossed*……Its so awkward. They think I’m smart but I’m not, and the reason I don’t want people to think I’m smart is that then they’ll start expecting stuff from me. Not good.
The very worst part is that 2 of my best friends (out of our group of 5) aren’t gonna be there…… One of them shifted to America and the other shifted to Saudi Arabia….Those idiots……I wish they were here