Tag Archives: humor

Walking, overthought

We all walk differently. The walking part is the same but we customize it with our own style. That style can be good or bad. Not that I mind whether a person walks with a slight shuffle or an uneasy awkwardness. I do that, it’s comfortable.

What inspired this post?
I was walking to class today and the guy in front me was walking so well! I know that sounds weird but man you should have seen him! It was so effortless, no hint of self consciousness at all! I can’t even call it walking, it was a proper strut. I found it hilarious. I mean I walk all slouched like, constantly reminding myself to stand up straighter and here he was practically gliding. I mean I thought grace was only in books. A fictional verb that couldn’t be applied to the real world. The sheer contrast of our gaits was comical. I was amused the whole lesson through. Still gives me a good laugh just remembering it.

We all walk differently and it depends upon what’s going through your head. My favourite is the one where you’re lost in thought and don’t consciously put one foot in front of the other…….doesn’t happen often. There’s the walk of shame, the walk of awkwardness, the walk of no-I’m-not-a-loner-I’m-independent etc. So this guy’s walk is classified as; I’m-proud-of-myself-I’m-awesome. Maybe I could walk like that someday if I didn’t think too much. Oh what a curse it is to overthink. It makes everything go wrong.

Ever noticed how people walk? It’s amusing. Just watch and judge and comment (in your head)……. keep yourselves amused…..no I mean, IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE!
As a self proclaimed scientist, I observe, take readings and draw hypotheses. Totally justified.

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Trim that fat

Her stomach growled and the hunger pangs were getting more and more painful. She groaned knowing she would have to get up to eat something but there was nothing in the kitchen that appealed to her. She wanted to eat, so badly. Putting the laptop on her bedside table she got to her feet wearily.

Stupid stomach, she thought to herself. It doesn’t even need the food. It has so much stored glycogen and fats and proteins. If only my hormones could be consciously controlled she thought, amused. Imagine it, to just point at an especially blubbery mass of your body and order your body to use the energy stored there. Glycogen, cortisol and corticosteroid all released at your minds consent. xD Forget dieting, everyone could be as slim as they wanted. And if someone was planning to go to say the desert, instead of packing they could just put on weight, literally.  ‘Trim that fat’ she said to herself, chuckling. The house was quiet and her laughter faintly echoed back. She shuddered and opened the fridge.

……………Meanwhile in a parallel universe……………

Zaid sat up in bed groggily. Rubbing his eyes and glancing at the clock he realized he was late for school. Pulling off the blanket,  he scrambled under his bed, groping around for his shoes. Finally finding them and putting them on, he grabbed his backpack. He got up to head out for school, but as an afterthought looked down, pointing at his stomach, ‘Trim that fat’ he muttered and a few grams of fat disappeared. He was getting low on reserves, he noted as he tried to recall the last time he ate. Shrugging, he decided to eat something after school………

Straight Face

Lets see how it goes. I’ve signed up to represent my school in a humorous declamation. Meaning I’m screwed. I can’t tell a joke for the my life. Well at least I can’t tell one effectively. I crack up before the punch line and in between fits of laughter I try to explain what’s so funny. The poor soul who was at the wrong place at the wrong time just smiles apologetically and walks away leaving me, still trying to get a grip.

Just now I was about to tell my friend Iqra something, but I started laughing even before the words came out. She was like confused, but she’s kinda used to it. Problem is, the judges won’t be. Even debating on a serious topic I’m smiling. Though I’m not really conscious of it at the time, my friends tell me later. When I try to be mean, I say sorry reflexively. Plus I turn red when I’m embarrassed.

Imagine it, walking on stage, standing before a whole bunch of strangers, joking around and no one laughing. Why? Cause I’m laughing enough for the whole crowd. They can just watch me while I turn red and become all awkward. I’ll probably start stuttering and stammering too about then….I’l start talking fast and the speech will be over. Everyone will breathe a sigh of relief and clap me off the stage cause they’re glad its finally over. I’ll be glad too, and I won’t be able to look anyone in the eye ever again.

I might not even go if they can find someone better. Trust me it won’t be hard to out shine me. But if I do go I seriously need to learn how to keep a straight face. O.O

Productivity

I NEED to do something productive! But why oh why am I so lazy? =/ I want to find or help develop a feasible way to generate power for my country. I want to write a book. I want to find a cure for cancer. I want to do so much! But I don’t know where to start! Ugh!

Hmmm…I guess I could start research on the properties of cancerous cells for starters. but the idea of surfing the net looking for useful information sounds pretty daunting. Ah thats the laziness speaking again….. you know my first and foremost plan should actually be to develop an anti-laziness pill……….Lol I think people would buy it….well I would so thats one customer right there….provided of course it was easily available,I aint driving halway across town to get it 😛 jking

I could finish stitching the clothes my mums been nagging me to make for awhile….I honestly actually started that a few hours ago,BUT one of my stitches went wrong and I have to ‘udheer’ it as they say in my language but I think in plain english it would mean to unstitch my stitches……n trust me that’s a LONG unrewarding task…plus it makes me feel like a screw up. This is why I dislike stitching.it makes me feel amateur. My cousins stitch awesome and frequently and neatly and fast as my mum constantly informs me. My stitching isn’t THAT bad…its just that well I enjoy doing things when I’m not told to do them. I know its weird and maybe my biggest weakness and flaw. I enjoy doing things more when I’m not told to them. When I’m told to do them they seem like labour. They actually feel like work. People get paid for that but I don’t.

Fine….I’l go do it.Soon………

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