Off the beaten road, there’s a trail
Unkempt and wild, pulsating with potential
A story untold, take my hand
This what makes life worth living darling
People often think being idealistic is impractical, that it’s either one of the two; idealism or realism. Very few things are that black and white, if any. Why can’t we be idealistic and realistic? Dream big, keep our hopes high and work towards making them a material reality?
Often the biggest hard core ‘realists’ were once in fact idealists. They did hope. They did dream. But when they were laughed at and mocked for their ideas they gave up. They didn’t try, they didn’t work. They accepted people’s words as the truth and joined their ranks; battering and tearing down those who still had the audacity to hope and dream. These new recruits can be an idealist’s biggest obstacle. These people never got the chance to realize their own dreams and seeing yours makes them feel like an even bigger failure. They see you, with ideas for a brighter future and envy your carefreeness. They see their past selves in you and wish they could still have hope in the word too. They point out flaws and setbacks, laugh at your naivety and try to make you be realistic so that they can validate themselves. If you fall off the bandwagon it affirms their belief that yes, there is no hope and they were right to give up.
Hopes and dreams are one thing. Basic human decency is another. We are the product of our experiences. You don’t get a say in the hand destiny deals you, but you do get a say in how you react to it. Our choices are always our own, as are the consequences. Some people who get hurt repeatedly become frustrated. They see the world going about as though nothing had happened, no one caring about their pain and wonder if maybe they’re too emotional. They vow to not let anything get to them and grow cold and insensitive to the pain of other people too.
People who once trusted other people too easily and were betrayed begin abusing other people’s trust reasoning that that is simply how the world works. People who try to live honestly see their corrupt coworkers earning more, getting promoted and getting away with it and wonder why they’re even trying to be honest. Their colleagues come to the office late, waste time and no one says anything to them. They live comfortable lives while you’re putting yourself through hell and for what? No one’s watching, no one says anything, everyone does it. With this reasoning the honest forego their ideals and resign themselves to the status quo.
Now, change frames. Before, it was you who was getting mocked for your ideas, now you’re doing it to the next person. If the person gives up it was because of you. You were the representative of the world to that person. When someone is hurt and you see them going through the same thing you went through once, you have a choice, you can be cold and insensitive, like people were to you, or you can empathize and make sure the person knows they’re not alone. Again, you represent the world.
You betray someone’s trust; you teach them that the world doesn’t hold trust sacred, just like someone once did to you and someone may have done to them. Each person in the chain, changing the world forever through their actions. Same goes for corruption. Each person in that office thought they were making a decision for themselves, that it was normal. The fact is, they normalized it by accepting it; paving the way for all those to come.
There was a nice analogy of the world in a book I read. It went something like: ‘The world is like a cauldron and your actions, thoughts and ideas are the ingredients you get to add.’ –Forty Rules of Love, Elif Shafak.
Your actions and choices are your contributions to the lives of all the people you ever meet, even for a second. People make up the world. The world is made up of people. You are people to people just as they are people to you. Know this. A friendly wave, a smile, genuine concern, every minute small thing you do is how the world looks through someone else’s eyes. Know your power.
Don’t lose complete faith in the world, it’s the equivalent of losing faith in yourself. Use your struggles as fuel for hope; if you can stay a dreamer, emotional, trusting and honest, so can other people.
Have faith in yourself.
You are the world.
I understand jokes. I understand playful teasing. I understand lines.
I love freedom; the notion that I can do what I want if the fancy strikes me. But no matter which way I think of it, I see boundaries of even that. The boundaries that make me human; a functional, analytical, empathetic, emotional being. Something that separates me from your average primate. The more you let yourself go the more animalistic you are. As I’m writing this I have this feeling I dreamt of something similar last night. Something about having control over yourself. I wish I could remember, I think I learned something.
Anyway, so many people I know go over these boundaries and don’t even think twice about them. They seem to think that they’re just being truthful, or that they’re being themselves…. I’m all for being yourself, but not if it’s hurting someone. We humans are so weak, so little can wreak so much havoc in our minds and if you think that’s not true then you’re in denial. You’re repressing it, and that repression makes you cold. You don’t see people’s feelings anymore because you’re denying yourself of your own too. Feeling, its not so bad my friend. It has its highs and lows, but it shows you what you want in life. It makes a day interesting, and you see people as people just like you rather than as a sea of enemies out to get you.
I do a lot of stuff that I want to. But the lines I have made are the ones that I hope make my parents happy. I try and keep within the moral code of religion. Then there are the ones that I have to protect people ( My siblings being the exception)(It’s just hard being nice to them)(I am trying though). You have no idea what someone is going through, you have no idea what might hurt them, you have no idea if all their laughter is fake and they’re just really brilliant actors. I’ve met so many people who fall in these categories that social conversations get confusing 😛 haha, nah it’s ok. You won’t be like that.
I don’t know. Basically what I’m trying to say is that, find your boundaries. Especially in this day and age where every other facebook post, tweet or anything is basically telling you to be yourself and not care what people think. I agree, but people are taking it to mean be as rude as you want without any regard for anyone else. Assess what you would or wouldn’t do and why. You’ll find your framework. It won’t restrict you, it’ll make things clearer for you and you won’t do as much things that you’ll regret. You’ll be happier with yourself and decisions will be easier to take and follow through.
It all comes down to, what’s important to you?
Is it so bad to live in a fantasy world? What even is reality? What if you just took some facts from the ‘real’ world and molded them into you’re fantasy? Plausible deniability.
Ok wait what even is reality? I mean we hardly ever have all the hard facts anyway. We have a few and we deduce the rest. Is it reality when you’re deductions are cynical and a fantasy when you dream for beautiful things. Other people will say so. They’ll say you’re lining yourself up for disappointment, sure that may be possible, but what you think will happen isn’t going to affect what will happen. So at least the moment till the truth hits is magical. Whereas for the realists it’s bleak. The end will be the same. (Though Noetic Science suggests our thoughts affect the outcome, just saying) What if the end was great? You didn’t waste your time and mood in worry. If it didn’t work out, well for a moment you thought it would, you had hope. Worry cripples you, hope paints a picture that adds a skip to your step. Life’s too short to spend all that time worrying and anticipating the worst.
I’ve been depressed for so long I got sick of it. I choose my fantasy. The world where I will travel across the globe. The world where I can start an orphanage and school. The world where I can be a book author. The world where the little things don’t bug me so much. The world where I can make a difference. The world where adventures are real not just in books. The world where anything is possible.
I’m a very nostalgic person. Someone who looks back and wishes she had more time. Sometimes impatient with the present while comparing it to the past. But as I mentioned in a previous post I found a little idea on how not to let it bother me so much. It goes along the lines of,’ at least it happened’. You know, at least I have those memories to cherish, what if I never had them? I wouldn’t trade them. You can draw strength from the good times to get through the bad.
Isn’t it amazing how you had such a good time in the past you can’t stand the present? It’s a credit to your past. And come on, you can’t have it good all the way through life. Through the present, let the past power the light in your eyes and the brightness of your smile.
Spread the love. Keep yourself happy. Brighten up other people’s world with your optimism too. Happiness is a state of mind you make for yourself. If you want to be sad you’ll find a thousand reasons, if you want to be happy you’ll find a thousand reasons. Depends what you’re looking for.
Reality usually has loopholes.
How truthful are we to ourselves?
We’re our greatest lawyers….. piling excuses upon excuses. Hiding the facts, from ourselves and the world. We just deny it. Feign surprise if it’s pointed out. Some part of us agrees we’re too aggressive, too bossy but if someone says it we ask other people their opinion. Latching onto the polite soul who gives us the excuse or denial we need. Some part of us wonders but we take comfort in that one shred of an alibi, hushing our doubt for a later time. For the next time.
I’m not saying bossy is a bad thing. It’s not entirely good either. I’m bossy. I know it. I get tense about getting things done on time, the right way, and I wield that desperation into telling people what to do. I wouldn’t need to if they had brains and weren’t complete idiots. Joking 😛 But yeah, it’s the sense of responsibility that spurs the bossiness. I accept that I should tone it down, it’s okay to dawdle in between. Though I don’t enjoy it, I know people do…..
The point is, you should own your flaws and consider what people have to say about them. Consider them, you don’t have to agree, just think about it. It could make life easier for you if people didn’t think you were arrogant and unreasonable. (I’m arrogant too by the way, possibly unreasonable at times)
Though I wonder. What if you liked being arrogant and unreasonable? Hmmm that’s a toughy. It’s hard to encourage that xD
Lol okay okay….ummm. Fine man, be arrogant and unreasonable. Own it. See how that works out for you. Just think though, if you’re smart you should actually accept the fact that you’re human, hence open to mistakes. Arrogance and unreasonability aren’t strong suits, they’re your weakness. Know it. At least that’s what I think….
At the end of the day. Your good and bad is you. Revel in it. Accept it. If you accept who you are, you can control who you are. Otherwise you’re lost. With no particular direction or evolution. If you don’t know who you are, you’re just a product of the things happening to you. Okay, yes everyone is a product of things happening to them but the thing is how we act in those situations is who we are, if you’re not aware of who you are, your actions are almost animalistic. A simple product of society, like a leaf being blown by the wind. With no idea where its going and why. Your acceptance of who you are, warts and all, is your anchor. The key to achieving your goals.
Take responsibility for your actions and their consequences.
Find your anchor. 🙂
A setback is nothing
With the wind on your face
With the smell of rain
With your eyes to the sky
With your heart alight
Tears brushed away
With a hysterical laugh
With a unbodied mind
Life less daunting
With thoughts of some things
With thoughts of everything
With a soul full of love
With a soul ready
Bring it on
I have a pretty bleak outlook on life sometimes. You might know it; it’s the one where you don’t really see the point in anything because you’re just like ‘ we’re all going to die anyway’. Or you can’t enjoy anything because it’s all so predictable. There’s the other outlook as well, where all you can think of is what might have been, how much you miss your friends, the old carefree times, how you’re not where you wanted to be in life, doubting your dreams etc.
Yeap, I go down that lane often. Too often. But today I had a thought. I miss my granddad, I miss my friends, but what if I’d never had those moments with them? The memories I cling to and cherish? Where would I be without them? WHO would I be without them? Looking back on those moments I shouldn’t fall on my knees in misery, I shouldn’t hug pillows to my chest and try to cover the gaping hole in my heart. I should remember and be grateful that fate had smiled on me so warmly. That I had had such a great granddad, that I had been so fortunate as to have had such awesome friends.
Looking back, take a deep breath and feel the euphoria. All those memories, all those people, they are with you. No one can take those times away from you. When you think that life is predictable, wake up and smell the sweet summer air because life is anything but predictable. That’s the beauty of it. No matter how sure you are, you’re wrong.
Yes, yes we’re all going to die, but does that mean we can’t have some fun before we go? That we can’t enjoy these things called emotions, that if allowed, can wreak havoc on our minds in the most beautiful of ways? Don’t buffer the love inside you, let other people feel it too. Don’t let the hate and jealousy fester inside of you, reason with it. It’s one thing to be realistic, it’s another to know the cold hard facts, and to play with them.
Be grateful for what you had, never lose hope that there won’t be more. If the current circumstances aren’t working for you, it’s OK to indulge in your memories of better times, it’s not living in the past, it’s finding a way to get through the present.
You laze around, do what you want, occasionally feel guilty, comfort yourself that you’ll change, that you have plenty of time to make amends, to repent, to ask for forgiveness, but who the hell gave you that insurance? I don’t think any of us can be sure that we’re going to be alive tomorrow. You can’t even guarantee that your next breath won’t be your last. We view ourselves as the heroes of our lives, we watch movies, tv serials, drama’s that show us that heroes don’t die until they’ve done all they wanted to in life. But that’s not true, people die all the time, suddenly, without warning, with their dreams still on hold, the dreams and hopes that die with them. What about them? Is it really that impossible that you won’t be one of them?
We plot and we plan our futures, but what about the here and now? These moments, they do count, and they won’t come back. The here and now, that’s what will decide what will happen to you after you die. We forget, we’re humans and we forget. I’m ashamed to admit that I often shrug at my own carelessness, I sometimes skip namaz(prayer) and I regret it so much. I hope I won’t forget, I’m going yo try my best not to forget, to not be lazy. I mean is our will power really that weak? That we can’t get past our own laziness, our own desires. Are we no more than mere animals? Governed by our instincts, our drives, our emotions.
We can change, with time we can change. Our fate, our future both in this life and the next is entirely up to us. If you fall short, you have no one to blame but yourself. The journey is tough, but be patient, Allah (God) is Just.
What lengths we go to, what hardships we endure
The calm of our inner ego being the lure
We wage wars, we turn on family
If someone so much as looks at us smugly
Ever heard of solitary confinement?
Why it’s illegal and the worst assignmnt?
We humans crave attention
Not meagre, scarce or with retention
We grow our toe nails, we practice tricks
All so our names will forever be hits
We scale social ladders, squable for power
Regardless if our souls turn sour
It’s a climb, a quest that will never end
It’s the quest for relevance
Charles Horton Cooley in his concept of the looking glass self describes how we,humans, tend to derive our essence, our personality from those around us. He explains this as, ‘There is no self without society, no “I” without a corresponding “they” to provide our self image.’ We look at how other people perceive us, and judge ourselves accordingly.
Now is that right? I mean people don’t know us fully, they only see what we show them. Then they judge us based on how we treat them, selfishly without any consideration to the bigger picture. But then again, technically how we react to people is who we are, even if we are faking it, is still ‘us’, under our conscious control.
It’s a twisting concept…..Cooley basically explains how we wouldn’t have personalities without society. That there’d be no self,we wouldn’t have proper emotions or coherant thoughts …………. Thats a big hole in the Tarzan story. 😛 Sorry that was random. I guess it is Disney so anything is possible. Disney’s awesome. 😀 …………Ok back to the topic.
So basically no matter how much we try to not let people affect us, they do. They’re the ones who tell us who we are, but what we choose to do with that image is up to us. If people view us as stupid, it’s up to us whether to let that be true and do nothing, or try to change that about ourself. That way we influence their views, and hence our views, so we have some control over it! Yes! Thats somewhat comforting……But technically our attitude to peoples views also depends upon how we saw people tackle similar situations. So the people also influence our reactions to their thoughts.
Confusing stuff…….very twisted. Everyone we know, knew or will know….. they all have an impact on us.
Hold your own
know your name
and go your own way. ~Details in the Fabric
See the world. Don’t just look, see with your eyes, mind and heart.~A.A.Jaspal
Not sure about everyone but I think most of us have considered it at some point or another…. I have. Once. A moment when I just wanted to sleep and never wake up because I didn’t really see a point in living…
There are often times when we question ourselves on our life. How it will turn out, our hopes, expectations, fears, long term goals and beliefs. We paint out scenarios in our heads of what we foresee it will be like and it is on the basis of these thoughts, whether they be bleak or bright, that we choose to keep going or give up. Other times we only try because of our beliefs, for example in my religion and I think Christianity as well, it’s a sin to take your own life, which is the reason I steer clear of that option, no matter how tempting. Then there’s the issue of all those we care about. Our family, our friends and everyone we know will be seriously be affected by such a rash step. It’s pretty selfish of us if you think about it. Taking away your life doesn’t affect just you, it affects everyone, in ways you can never foresee.
There’s another factor we tend to overlook when we ponder over life; the fact that it never turns out the way you expect. It happens all the time, we spend our days following a routine that we don’t ever see changing, but one day you could find yourself all the way across the world, planning on spending the rest of you life there (This actually kind of happened to me, my dad came home one day saying we’re going to Pakistan tommorow for two weeks. That was over six years ago and I haven’t been back to England since). Or you could be expecting a really dull day and while waiting for the bus to come, you might meet an old friend who hooks you up with a job ten times better than your previous one. The possibilities are endless, but the point is, you can never count your chickens till they’re hatched. You can’t ever say you know how your life will turn out, because only God knows that. We can only truthfully assess our life after we’re dead and have lived it till the end…Our life is made of the choices we make. They are what define us. Food for thought.
Life seems so bleak these days. Meaningless and useless. Doing the same things day after day with little variations or alterations, the same meaningless chatter and the same routine. I find myself sitting in the middle of a class or a conversation just thinking ‘What’s the point of this?’. Its deadening my perspective and I’m not enjoying it. I don’t know what to do to make myself stop thinking like this but its a direction my thoughts inevitably take. So then what is there to do?
I don’t believe that there’s nothing after death. There has to be. I was talking to a friend yesterday and she raised some great arguments against common atheist questions. They say that the since the universe is so huge with so many galaxies, the chances that one planet among these billions can support life isn’t far fetched. They say that the Earth isn’t made for us but we’re made for the Earth. We adapted to the Earths atmosphere and the Earths environment;not the other way round. But then why haven’t any other life forms adapted to the conditions on their planet? Why don’t we discover living things on Mars which need carbon dioxide the way we need oxygen. Or if its the lack of water which hinders them then why haven’t we found any fossils since recent research has shown that Mars did once have water……why didn’t they find a way to come into existence?
I guess I should concentrate on carrying out the duties my beliefs tell me to. They’re not hard, everyday things that we should do anyway. Pray, give charity, be generous to others, be a good neighbour, be a source f comfort for other people, be compassionate, treat guests like royalty, swallow my pride and anger etc.
Some people say they live life in a way that will leave a mark on the world, in history. But still……what good does that do you? Your dead. You might say that your future generations will be proud but again that doesn’t matter anymore….. It’s a pretty twisted reality unless you have a belief in an afterlife……….food for thought………..
“Dude, how can you eat that? Wafers are nasty!”
“Stop updating so many status’s, no one cares.”
And so on. Yes, I think most of us have heard some of these lines or parts of them before. People telling us to do the things that they prefer with no regard to the possibility that we might actually LIKE what we’re doing or eating.
What they don’t get is that everyone’s taste buds aren’t the same, we have different choices so it’s not mandatory that we should enjoy the same types of food as each other…….and as far as Facebook status’s or tweets on Twitter are concerned I just have one thing to say, if you don’t like what you see then the solution is as simple as ‘unfriend-ing’ or ‘unfollowing’. You don’t get to tell someone how to manage their status, tweet or blog. Its their own personal choice what they wish to share. No one is asking you or forcing you to read it so get a life and keep your unconstructive criticism to yourself.
Don’t get me wrong I’m all for constructive criticism, I mean that’s how we learn right? How to improve ourselves. But unconstructive criticism has no purpose other than to put down the other person. Its another way of saying ‘I’m better than you’ or ‘Your lame’. It’s mean and spiteful and yes, any one of the people reading this have every right to disagree with me and share their views I’m open to see a different side to this act. But this is what I believe.
I’m not just talking about status’s or food hate. I’m talking generally as well. Everyday things like “you sound weird” or “I don’t like your style”. What I’m trying to say is before saying something you should look at the situation from another point of view, not just your own because there are two sides to every story. Before saying something ask yourself whether you are helping anyone with your remarks.