Tag Archives: relationships

It wasn’t just my fault

The double meanings
The subtle hints
They can’t be entirely fictitious
They were most definitely there

Here I was frustrated
Here I was shocked
That I was wrong for so many years
That my delusions had soared that far

Why twist me in such knots?
Why drag it on so long?
Worst part is, I wonder if it was unconscious
Worst part is, I’m still making your excuses

I am so completely drained
I am so completely done
The answer is no clearer
The answer is I must answer

Hell to the no.

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To be a friend

What does it mean? To be a friend. To laugh around a coffee table, walk through school corridors, have lunch together? To be there through everything, good or bad. What is it really?

Is it time? Does time together simply add up and you grow comfortable with a person or a routine?

What if you disagree on things, important things? What if you have a fight? What if their viewpoints and thoughts conflict with your own?

A friend is someone who thinks of you.

A friend is someone who will be there for you.

A friend is someone you can differ with without the love diminishing.

A friend is someone who is honest with you.

A friend is someone who loves you.

Friends have ups and downs. There may come a time when your friend does something you think you can never forgive them for. You think that things can never go back to how they were. But if you try to make things work regardless, it’s worth it. If you abandon them when things seem bad or are bad, just think, who will be there for them if not you? What if it was you who was going through the thing, wouldn’t you want someone to reason with you rather than just turn the other way?
You may not think they’re listening but what you say does matter.

Your friend deserves the truth. When he/she asks for it, give it; even if it’s not something they want to hear. That’s the hallmark of a true friend. Not being afraid to say what needs to be said, or giving an honest opinion. Not to mention being there even when the friend fails to follow your advice.

As you grow older and with more and more things to deal with, you may grow apart from your friends and when you disagree it may just be easier to take them out of your life. You have a new life now, with a different circle and you hardly see them anyway. Personally though, I don’t think you should let go of a friendship based on how hard it is for you to deal with them. They’re a part of you, no matter what. If you love them, work past the pain and hurt. That may just be because I can’t cut anyone out of my life, but it’s also because I don’t believe in it. Once a part of you, always a part of you. Cutting people out is giving up on your relationships, and no worthwhile relationship is without a bit of work and a bit of compromise. Respecting differences is applicable to anyone you meet.

I may be wrong, I may have missed things out or maybe been a bit too masochistic for some people. Let me know in the comments.

Don’t mind me….I’m just an orphan

“I failed my chemistry midterm. I know it’s only a monthly assessment for my classmates, but for me it’s something much more. I feel pale. It’s hard to breathe. If my grades don’t improve I have no future. My aunt and uncle have been kind enough to put up with me since my parents died two years ago. But I feel like a burden on them. I’m an outsider in their home. I feel like an intruder. I don’t belong. No matter what I do, no matter how much I achieve I feel incomplete. There’s no one to share my victories with. Who’ll feel proud of me when I succeed and tell me off when I screw up. My heart splutters. I wish I could hug my mum.
It’s this need that exists in every second of every day, that has me crawling into a fetal position to try and ease the pain, that I want to discard. Maybe if I got better grades, my teachers would appreciate me….If I smoked those cigarettes everyone in class does they would accept me as one of them. Who cares if I die anyway…..”

 

So much more than that plagues the mind of an orphan. My heart goes out to them and I wish I could just take them all and give them a huge hug, give them all the love they crave and deserve. I seriously cannot wait until I’m independent enough to adopt an orphan! Heck, I would right now but I want to be able to provide for him/her so that means waiting for a while until I get a job.

My dear friend

I look around

Seeing the holes your absence has left

Who ever knew they’d be as deep as they are

But wait, they’re not just there

They’re in here too

In a heart that yearns for your presence,my dear friend

In a heart that knows skyping isn’t enough

Knows that the times are only gonna get more tough

My dear friend won’t you come back?

And fill my world with what it lacks

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