Tag Archives: School

Thoughts suffocate thy

I always do this shit. I pin expectations on people, get self conscious around them, and all for nothing. This has got to end. I’m too old for this shit. Focus. Focus.

I need to stop these fantasies here and now. They’re so utterly pointless. They just make you feel like an idiot. But what can I do if I have an overactive imagination. Imagination and thoughts are so beautiful, but they’re distracting. What to do, what to do. Maybe if I didn’t let people get to me. Easier said than done. You know, I’m most comfortable around strangers. The more I get to know people, the quieter I become. MAJOR problem. What am I doing? Shit I’m talking to myself again. Dammit.

I walk into the university campus and wander around the corridors, openly staring down all the people who have the misfortune to pass by me on this fine cloudy day. I was Arya Chaching, I was an author, I had a blog, I could do what I wanted without having to worry about what people thought about me. Besides I only stare for sociological reasons…… and well because I’m a writer, I need to observe. I can’t help laughing at the thought. Bahaane.

I’m late for class again. I don’t care. I will take my own sweet time because not only have I got no one to impress, but the weather’s so beautiful. I’d rather be out here than in a stuffy room which has barely enough oxygen for a dozen people let alone the hundred or so that squeeze in. I trudge towards class, it’s going to be ok, everything’s going to be fine. To my right a hawk swoops down and grabs a twig from the lawn. I stop and stare, awed. It’s so huge, it’s so cool. It glides away with it’s spoils and I watch it shrinking in the distance.

Refreshed I continue my journey and sing to myself. Today is a good day.

I walk in class, everyone turns around and stares. Cheeks aflame I sit down on the nearest seat I can find. Shit. Back to notch one.

Iris: Chapter Four

The wind rustled the leaves of the juniper trees above my head and I closed my eyes, enjoying the damp air. A few crows hopped from branch to branch, above me cocking their heads at each other and occasionally cawing. The smell of freshly fried chips wafted from the canteen, tempting anyone passing by.

“Mind if I join you?”

I opened my eyes and grinned, recognizing the voice. Dawud stood before me with his hands in his pockets, sandy hair ruffled by the wind.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really.” He chuckled, plopping down on the bench next to mine. “Enjoying the weather?”

I nodded smiling and he leaned back against the trunk of the juniper tree, gazing at the clouds broodingly. I glanced at him worried. His shoulders were tense and jaw taut. He glanced my way and I raised an eyebrow. He shrugged, and resumed his fascination with the sky.

I pursed my lip and wondered what was bothering him. Dawud was a pretty rational guy; it took something pretty problematic to bug him. His thick eyebrows were set in an annoyed line. The wind picked up its pace and an empty Milo carton rolled across the grass near our feet. Dawud kicked it away with unnecessary force making it skid a fair distance before slowing to a stop at the foot of the basketball hoop.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked thoughtfully at the green carton.

“Any luck with those writing competitions?” he asked absent-mindedly, making small talk, his eyes on the carton.

“Not really.” I answered with a crooked smile. If you thought about it, it was pretty funny how I took part in so many competitions but never won. What were the odds? I must really suck. “The point is to try.” I laughed, trying to coax him out of his mood.

“At this rate I’ll be a writer in no time.”

He relented with a smile and I rejoiced in the little victory. His eyes had warmed somewhat and he was about to say something when we noticed Jannat, Amira, Arooj, Zaid, Ali and Sundas eyeing us.

“Those idiots always move in packs,” Dawud said. “Take one of them alone and they’re helpless.”

I was quiet, watching them casually saunter their way towards us, talking animatedly all the while and occasionally casting jeering grins our way.

“They’re coming here.” I noted drily.


The wind picked up momentum and the overgrown grass thrashed wildly. A few leaves blew off the branches of the overhead trees, swirling in the air. The air was damp and the clouds were now an ominous shade of grey. I breathed in the smell of rain and my spirits soared. I felt fresh and invigorated; like I had the power to do anything.

Jannat’s hair was tied up in a high pony, her pink sandals complementing her shirt which read ‘MY attitude depends on how YOU treat me’. Her skin tight jeans were a bright neon blue which only she could pull off. She led the group as they took their time reaching us. Amira was tagging along in the rear with Ali; trying without success to engage him in a conversation. Sundas and Arooj trailed behind Jannat more or less silently, giggling every now and then when Jannat spoke. I pitied their weak souls. They were only with Jannat so that they could get a good story, to be in the thick of all the drama and to try and get into her inner circle. Meanwhile Jannat was using them as a platform, a base on which she climbed and then looked down on everyone else. Their desperateness to be with her, to please her and to be acknowledged stoked the fiery blaze that was Jannat’s ego. And as if her mindless minions weren’t enough, she also had the class joker, Zaid, under her thumb.

Dawud had decided to return his gaze back to the clouds so I decided to bide my time with a book.

“Well, well what do we have here?”  Jannat smirked at us, stopping near my bench. She ran a well-manicured hand through her hair, trying without success to tame her flicks which were being tousled by the wind.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m reading.” I told her curtly.

She narrowed her eyes and her tone turned scathing.

“As if you’re that innocent.”

“Innocence had nothing to do with it.”

“You always look down on us, you wear a scarf but you’re just as bad. No you’re worse. You’re a hypocrite.” Jannat accused.

“What the hell are you going on about woman?”

I was confused, what had I done? I couldn’t recall anything recent that could have elicited such a queer response. I looked at Dawud and found him watching me, his black eyes unreadable. He was being really quiet for someone who had a temper problem.

“You know damn well what I’m going on about.”

“No! I don’t.” This was getting annoying.

“You’re that stupid?” Amira jeered, folding her arms across her chest.


Layla and Fatima joined the crowd standing opposite me, trying to make sense of the commotion. Layla’s eyes spotted me and darted to Jannat. Her eyes narrowed minutely and she angled her body to face Jannat, still in the crowd, but slightly turned.

“Dawud likes you.” Jannat stated bluntly.

I laughed nervously, hoping beyond all hope that she didn’t mean what I thought she meant.

“Of course he likes me, he’s my friend.”

Sundas rolled her hazel eyes. My cheeks were getting hot and my palms grew sweaty. I didn’t want to discuss this. It couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t. I was too weird and not even pretty. It made no sense, but my brain was in overdrive. I was grateful for the cool breeze; my face was too warm for comfort.

“You know what I mean, don’t act dumb.”

I looked at Dawud, willing him to negate it, to say something. But he sat just as before, hands in pockets, eyeing me broodingly with a slight frown.

“You know he likes you and you lead him on.”

I glared at Dawud, my heart hammering and my cheeks aflame.

“He doesn’t like me!”

Amira snorted. “Then why isn’t he denying it?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?!”

“She didn’t know.” Dawud said calmly, looking directly at Jannat, his eyebrows set in an irritated line.

I was appalled. I looked at him in shock but I was more upset than angry. We’d been friends for years. He would tell me about everyone he was ever even slightly interested in which usually quelled my fears. Now here he was claiming he had feelings for me. It pained me to consider it. I felt like I was going to be sick. It couldn’t be true, Dawud was just bugged by the stupid gossip. He often did that, played along with the story because he didn’t give a damn what other people thought.

“As if she didn’t know.” Sundas sneered, her lip curling.

“You can tell from her face.” Layla said quietly, looking down, her voice quivering. My heart went out to her. Everyone turned and stared, quiet for a moment.

“Let it go.” Dawud went on calmly.

“Sure we would, if that little slut wasn’t such a hypocrite.” Jannat retorted, reluctantly glancing away from Layla.

“Look at her, turning red. You’d think she was actually embarrassed.” Amira laughed.

“I never thought Maria would be into things like that.” Ali said shaking his head.

“It was all an act, a good one at that.” Jannat said sardonically.

“When has she ever said anything to you?”

The new voice startled everyone and even Layla looked up.

Talha and few other guys from the football team stood at the perimeter of the crowd. Talha’s thick black hair was sticking up in spikes at odd angles and my heart skipped a beat. They were all panting slightly with a sheen of sweat covering their faces.

“Well not directly but…….”

“Well maybe you’re just paranoid.”

Jannat was taken aback and looked at Zaid for support. But Zaid looked uncomfortable; he hadn’t said a word since the others had ganged up on me. He looked like he just wanted to get away from the scene. He looked at the football team and saw a means of escape.

“Is it time for the game?”

“Not quite but if we hurry we can get some time in for some practice.” Amir told him.

Jannat was holding back her anger. But she was smart, she knew there was no point in going on but she wasn’t going to go without a final word. She looked at me haughtily.

“Let’s go Zaid, there’s no point in talking to this idiot anyway.”

Amir and Talha rolled their eyes. Zaid and Jannat left with the football team but Talha stayed behind looking at me with worry plain on his face. The rest of the bystanders trickled away slowly leaving me with Layla, Talha and Dawud. Layla came and sat next to me. I turned to Dawud, still hot in the face.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” He sighed.

“Why didn’t you back me up, why did you just sit there?” My heart throbbed.

“I did tell them to leave you alone.”

“Why didn’t you tell them it wasn’t true?” I asked exasperated.

Dawud was quiet. The silence dragged on, pierced occasionally by the sound of thunder in the distance.

“It’s because it is true.” Talha said before turning around to leave.

I looked after him, as his silhouette walked in the distance. I turned around and saw Dawud staring at me again, this time with eyes full of sadness and guilt.



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Iris: Chapter Three

Quantum Physics. This should be interesting I thought, walking into the classroom shouldering my bag and hoping to finally understand the YouTube videos I often watched out of curiosity. Quantum physics was twisted from what I had gathered off the internet. I once read an article saying that an electron could jump from its shell to wherever it wanted at the slightest whim. No need for energy, its ok if you don’t have the energy needed to rationally do it. I mean be cool, do what you want brother electron. We humans will cover for you and call that discipline Quantum Physics. I didn’t understand the electron scenario at first but reading on, I came to the conclusion that it was similar to an eight month old baby, sitting in the middle of a football field and suddenly standing up and leaping outside to where his parents parked the car. That’s what the electrons could apparently do, when they felt like it of course. Who’s got time to crawl right? Crawling was overrated. I looked at the board, from my seat in the second row, eagerly.

“Quantum physics is a branch of science that deals with discrete, indivisible units of energy called quanta as described by the Quantum Theory.”

My hand shot up, Sir Iqbal smiled at me.

“Yes Maria?”

“What’s the quantum theory?”

“That’s a very good question. It’s not in our syllabus but………”

“Sir if it’s not in our syllabus then forget it.” Zaid yelled from the back.

“We’re already behind on sir.” Zahra said adjusting her glasses.

Sir looked at me apologetically, they had a point.

“Ask me after the lesson then Maria. I don’t want the rest of the class to get confused.”

I nodded, though I knew I wouldn’t go to him afterwards. Sir went on, telling us about wave-particle duality. Jannat and Fatima were whispering loudly to each other at the back and giggling. Layla doodled on her notebook.

The class of forty sat on wooden chairs facing the whiteboard with an arm’s length of spacing. Well it was supposed to be arm’s length, most of the seats were closer together in order to facilitate speech during the lesson, our own handiwork. The a.c was on as well as the fans so that the heat wouldn’t bother us. From the three windows, spaced equally apart, on the left wall there was a clear view of the junior branch of Sarbaland High, between our two buildings stretched a large stretch of lawn that was well tended to. Trees dotted the landscape, providing some respite from the hot sun that shone almost three hundred days a year.

            A high pitched squeal from behind made the class turn around, Amira looked sheepishly at Sir while Ali was grinned as he scribbled in his notebook not looking up. Sir let it slide and as I turned around to face the board, Talha’s brown eyes met my mine. I looked a away quickly, my cheeks getting hot.  

After class, still embarrassed I waited until most of the class had filed out before I left, not wanting to run into Talha. Talha was way decent; he never looked at a girl if he could help it, which was why it embarrassed me when I sometimes saw him looking my way. With an easy charm and an air of confidence about him he was easily admirable. As if that wasn’t enough, he was pretty smart. I kept Physics and Biology for fun, and he kept Sociology. That was how he caught my attention. Most people didn’t understand the intrigue of the unknown; they saw knowledge as something that was compulsory, not something to seek for the sake of seeking. Overhearing a conversation with him and the sociology teacher I had felt a feeling of camaraderie.

            Talha was medium heighted, average looking with a round nose, curious eyes and a tan. He walked with purpose, had a brisk stride and a ready smile for anyone passing by. I walked through the sunlit corridor, one side had a wall totally made of glass, and outside to the canteen. The canteen owners knew me well, greeting me with smiles.

“Pepsi or Coke?” Nadia baji asked.


I looked around recognizing the deep voice and found myself standing right next to Talha. I shifted to the side to increase the distance between us, but even so, I was unnerved by our proximity.

“I’ll have a coke too.”

I tried saying the words as confidently as I could but my voice came out a little too high pitched for my liking. I adjusted my headscarf awkwardly as I waited for my order. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw him half turn towards me, think better of it, and then turn back. Taking my coke gratefully, I made a beeline for my favourite spot in the school grounds, a sheltered bench under the shade of two trees. The two drooping juniper trees made the area feel safe, and sheltered. From the bench you could see the whole school. It was a nice view of both the sky and the grounds which was why I often found myself sitting there, looking at the clouds or reading a book under the shade.

When the bell rang for the next period I was reluctant to leave. I had been brainstorming for an essay that was due for an online competition tonight. Hopping off the bench I strolled casually across the lawn. Other A2 kids were making their way towards the door too, while some sat where they were, obstinately ignoring the sound. I didn’t glance at them; that would only encourage them. They just wanted the attention I thought cynically. Jannat often came into class late so that everyone would notice her arrival. Well that was my assumption but judging from her regularity, and the way she strutted into the room as conspicuously as she could manage, I was pretty sure I was right.

People were such attention seekers. I didn’t believe in blind conformity. You should think before you believe in something, instead of blindly accepting things as facts merely because the majority believe they were. We had brains so that we can use them. Yet it was ironic how few of us did. I often saw people leap at chances for acknowledgement, popularity and social standing. No matter what they had to forego along the way.

Strolling into the biology lab, I found myself an empty seat at the back, near the open double paned window. Unfortunately that meant I was sitting right behind Layla, Jannat and Arooj. I fiddled with my pen and allowed myself to listen to their heated discussion on which guys in class were hot and which had made a move on Jannat. They were laughing at Jannat’s dramatized exaggerations of how Bilal had tried to approach her.

“I knew there was something ages ago. He always used to stare at me and come up to me and start talking for no reason.” She said, acting nonchalant. “Somehow he was always online when I logged into Facebook. He tried talking to me almost every day.”

“Has he ever looked in a mirror?” Arooj sniggered and they all erupted in laughter.

“It got really creepy after a while though. One day I got a message from him saying that he wanted us to be more than friends, that he had been watching me for months and he thought I was perfect, the whole deal. I told him to fuck off but he wouldn’t leave me alone. He started posting weird statuses and pictures. I freaked out.”

“Talk about obsessed.”

“Yeah, so I told Zaid and he flipped. I don’t know exactly what he did but Bilal never bothered me after that, he doesn’t even glance my way.”

“Wow.” Layla muttered.

Jannat twirled a strand of her hair imperiously, while Arooj looked at her in admiration and glanced at her own boyfriend, Junaid, across the room. My mouth twisted into an amused smirk. They were so naïve. Attracting boys was all they thought about, it was what gave them confidence. Such weak foundations I thought, shaking my head and frowning as I wondered what would happen to them if the boys actually got some sense and stopped paying attention. These girls would break, lose their sense of importance and delve into a state of such desperateness that they’d lose all sense of self-respect. If only I could talk some sense into them. You didn’t need a boy’s attention in order to be worth something, you had to believe in yourself. But I was at loss for words.

It was against our religion to attract the opposite gender, hence the need for hijab. Once you got into this sticky mess, you’d spend your life trying to find happiness instead of concentrating on important things like family and you’re future. If you liked someone, by all means, get married, but playing these sick games where people mostly exploited the other person, it was pathetic. I wanted someone too though, I realized guiltily. Someone to stand up for me and tell me I wasn’t weird. Someone smart. Someone like Darcy, or heck, even Edward. What did that mean? Was I just as bad as everyone else? Just as desperate?

Maam Razia walked into the room and apologized for her tardiness.


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Cause I’m arrogant…….

People think I’m arrogant when I say I don’t do past papers -.- Well technically they don’t say it, they think it. Plus they imply it pretty obviously…..I give them a solid reason in argument. If I did past papers before every school test, the test wouldn’t be a test. It would be a memory exercise. All our teachers give the exams from past papers and if I had already solved that question before and knew it, what exactly would I gain from taking the test. You take exams to assess yourself, how much you know and understand as well as how you apply your concepts. It’s not a memory test, contrary to popular belief. I seriously feel like saying this stuff but everytime I try I just get glares and cold shoulders.
I swear people, yesterday people in my class were complaining that the test they gave yesterday was so hard. They hadn’t done any of it before and they’d done a lot of past papers. I was literally facepalming myself. I even said it, out loud, ‘Thats called a TEST’. They just don’t get it. Or maybe I just don’t get it…..either way its exasperating.
Oh and today my point was proven. It was my chemistry exam and I was worried about it. I had done most of the syllabus but I wanted to practice some questions so that I could assess myself. So I finally opened the past papers randomly. I did one and realized how serious my situation was, so I decided to do another. I did two past papers and checked them using the official marking scheme. I didn’t score well in either of them but I went over my mistakes so I wouldn’t make them again.
I go to school, and sit in the examination room, nervous knowing that I don’t know enough…….or so I thought. I open the paper and bam, the first question is one of the questions in the second past paper I did. I groan inwardly but continue on in the hope that something different is next. You can guess what was next….ANOTHER question I knew. I looked through the whole exam frantically and realized it was a word to word copy of the paper I solves mere hours ago. Answering the questions was childs play and it was frustrating. I like being challenged. Sure I feel crap afterwards but at least I learn something. -.- I’m still bugged about it. I can’t compete with my friends now because that’s unfair. The exam I gave is the equivolent of not giving it……that’s gonna hurt ME in the long run…….. Oh and if I say any of this to someone they’re going to think I’m proud. Peachy.



Iodine in starch solution.

This is quite an old picture, one that I took last year. Back in the days when I still went to the science lab for practicals. I just loved the colour change when iodine was added to starch and the lab assistant guy was nice enough to give me a beaker of starch solution when I asked, even though I’m pretty sure he knew I was just going to fool around. So for all of you guys who don’t know whats so fascinating OTHER than the awesome diffusion currents that start in the solution, well iodine is actually brown in colour and the yes something this simple can indeed make you all happy inside. It’s the little things!

Musings Part 2

The fact is, I enjoy being swamped in work, i.e I’m a workaholic. Is it a bad thing? If you ask me, nope, not at all. I’m bored sick when I don’t have something to do. Something that takes my time, energy and leaves me drained but feeling accomplished. It’s a drug. So much so that I often bite off more than I can chew, participating in almost everything. I mean you should make maximum use of your time right?
Like for example if you know you’re not going to study don’t put off a competition in the hopes that maybe you will if you don’t go. Odds are that if you do go and take part you’ll feel guilty about wasting the time and actually end up studying more than if you hadn’t gone. You’re more motivated too as well as more clear headed. I mean studying continuously days on end, in the same old pattern…..If you ask me I’d say that it’s a waste of your time. You won’t learn anything cause your brain is dulled and dead. By going out and exploring new avenues and experiences you keep your brain alive, active and happy. You’ll find that grasping new concepts or even revising old ones gets easier. You pick up things faster. It’s a scientific fact that constantly stimulating yourself boosts intelligence. Your mind is more adept.
Even if you have an exam the next day and you have a lot of syllabus left you should take breaks. Exerting yourself constantly is going to slow you down. Study for two to three hours continuously but after that you DESERVE a well earned break. Do what you want in it, preferrably something that doesn’t require much conscious effort. Whatever you do though never go to sleep, trust me you’ll never wake up in time. Well unless you have a human alarm clock i.e you threaten someone with murder if they don’t wake you up at the prescribed time. 😛 Breaks like these help your mind absorb what you just read and to store the information effectively. Without this everything gets cluttered in your head. After at least half an hour you can go right on ahead and continue studying. Jack Andraka, the person who discovered a cheap, effective diagnostic test for pancreatic cancer at age 15, also used this method. He used to research for hours and then go on a walk to contemplate what he had just read and sort through it.
What I’m trying to say is, don’t throw away your life for your exams. They aren’t as hard as you make them seem. We students tend to stress ourselves out over them too much. I really don’t get people who totally turn dead to the world a good three to four months before the exams. Yes, I know people have different speeds at which they pick things up, but I believe that overstudying is just as bad as understudying. Don’t waste your life.

Be wise!

Musings Part 1

I am in such a story writing mood! I just wanna sit and type but there’s a whole load of stuff I need to do first! >.< The cricket match article for the magazines due and I just can’t get my head into it so its dragging. I still have to sign the kids certificates; I have 80 left. :O
On the plus side there’s no school tommorow, though thats not that great. I like hanging out with my friends. Plus staying at home all day is boring and depressing these days. The only advantage is sleeping….a big bonus, but it’s the only one.
Oooooh I just remembered, I’m in deep shit. I borrowed a book from a teacher and  I left it in the common room while I went to do some work in the computer lab. Now the thing is, I was told to guard the book with my life….I thought I was doing the job but when I came back to collect it, it was GONE!! You cannot imagine the fear that went through me. I was so scared. I looked everywhere! Then I asked some girls from my class and they said the said teacher was shocked to see his book lying around and that he’d taken it back! 😡 He probably thinks I’m an irresponsible idiot…….Ok, the situations a little better now. I JUST got a reply from him…..he says its alright…… But I still need to apologize personally and beg for the book again 😛
Now…..back to the article……

Suffocating Expectations

Maybe it’s just me, or perhaps you might be able to relate.

Fact is, it’s easier to accomplish goals and tasks when no one else believes you can. Ok, fine…. Scratch no one, MOST people. It makes the goal even more worthwhile, and fulfilling it a true victory. You want to try and accomplish something no one else has, or something that they have but no one believes you can do too. It’s a challenge. Not something cliché. Surpassing even your own expectations is even better.
BUT everything comes crashing down on you when you do a little, and suddenly everyone thinks you can do anything. They start expecting stuff from you and the goal just loses its charm. It’s glamour. Yep that’s the cliff I’ve fallen down. Just cause of my achievements last year suddenly everyone in school thinks I can do anything. I have like four subjects in my A level right now that I’m studying seriously while two others I’m dabbling in. Both teachers want me to take their subject because they think I can get them the good grades they need. What they don’t understand is that last year, that might have been slightly possible, but this year I have enough on my plate what with being Head Girl and failing in my priority subjects like Math and Physics. I even tried explaining it, but they just shook their heads and said they knew I could do it. I was both honoured and astounded. What really got me incredulous was my principal’s reaction when I said I wanted to take sociology, but only attend the lessons when I felt like it. She actually agreed! I was like dammnnn these people have so much faith.

Those were the issues in the beginning of the year, when everyone was still reveling in my 4 A’s in AS. (Which by the way I know I honestly got from luck and the kids prayers, I seriously told all the little kids to pray for my exams 😛 ) But I found out that some still think that. My sister’s friend’s heck even my brother and sister think I can do anything. It irritates me now. I feel like saying leave me alone people. I’m just like you guys….I just like utilizing time in a different way. Ugh! Ah well. I can’t go around and slap the sense in everyone myself now can I? No matter how tempting 😛 I guess I’ll have to hope it dies down and they all get a life.

That was a major driving force though you know. Proving people wrong through accomplishments.  Now I’m stuck with just doing it cause I need to….boring.

Its not just competitions and stuff…. other things like personality. People instantly judge you as something. They can’t know the whole truth in two seconds, yet they still get all emotional and let down when you turn out to be different from what they thought. Well who asked you to expect so much in the first place?  Expectations

Dwelling on times past

Just UsWe were all meant to be
Five people so different
Yet so complete

There was an understanding
An agreement between hearts
That was so secure,full of trust

School was a hangout
Everyday an adventure
Where missing out on one day
Was pure torture

Talking, as easy as breathing
Laughing as effortless as blinking
Always knowing you weren’t being judged

A sense of freedom and confidence
A pack that was invincible
We didn’t need the world

Too good to last
Time caught up with us
Tearing us apart
Throwing reality in our faces

Looking back on it all
The times feel too good to be real
A dream way too surreal




Straight Face

Lets see how it goes. I’ve signed up to represent my school in a humorous declamation. Meaning I’m screwed. I can’t tell a joke for the my life. Well at least I can’t tell one effectively. I crack up before the punch line and in between fits of laughter I try to explain what’s so funny. The poor soul who was at the wrong place at the wrong time just smiles apologetically and walks away leaving me, still trying to get a grip.

Just now I was about to tell my friend Iqra something, but I started laughing even before the words came out. She was like confused, but she’s kinda used to it. Problem is, the judges won’t be. Even debating on a serious topic I’m smiling. Though I’m not really conscious of it at the time, my friends tell me later. When I try to be mean, I say sorry reflexively. Plus I turn red when I’m embarrassed.

Imagine it, walking on stage, standing before a whole bunch of strangers, joking around and no one laughing. Why? Cause I’m laughing enough for the whole crowd. They can just watch me while I turn red and become all awkward. I’ll probably start stuttering and stammering too about then….I’l start talking fast and the speech will be over. Everyone will breathe a sigh of relief and clap me off the stage cause they’re glad its finally over. I’ll be glad too, and I won’t be able to look anyone in the eye ever again.

I might not even go if they can find someone better. Trust me it won’t be hard to out shine me. But if I do go I seriously need to learn how to keep a straight face. O.O


They ask where I’ve been

Occupied I say

‘Too busy to even talk?’ They ask

‘Too frazzled to even think.’ I reply

‘Well you better be with us tommorow’ They demand

‘What’s tommorow?’ I question, perplexed.

They’re silent

I look at the date….

I forgot my own birthday


The website’s live!

Oh yeah! The Grammarians website is finally live! It feels so good! Like I’ve accomplished so much! True I had help but that doesn’t make it less AWESOME!

Our media team is the most organized and focused. We should totally get an award like my co-head keeps saying =P I’m writing all this stuff cause I need to get it out of my system. It was bottled up for like half an hour before I was like ‘heck what’s the blog for?’ Might as well get some writing done and get the excitement out at the same time. Though the excitement won’t go I think 😀 I don’t really want it to anyway.

To all those reading this! Make a website and feel great. It works! xD

It feels like anything can be done. Plus I got some practice on how to make a website so now it won’t be s hard when I want to do it in the future for my business. But I still need to learn how to optimize the SEO and other stuff cause my co-heads did all the work in that department…..Oh well they might help me then too….maybe.

Oh well the website’s live people!

If you want to check it out, here’s the link. Enjoy!


The Joy of uncovering the unknown

A glimpse of my work

Ok so I’m no programmer but my future goals demand that I know how to make a decent website myself. So with that in mind as well as the thought that it couldn’t really be that much harder than making a blog, I signed up to make our school’s literary societies web page. I was doing great according to me and it felt so good to be good at it. You know the feeling, when you’ve never done something before but you find out that you have an unexpected knack for it? Well that was the feeling.

It was ten times better when I found a way to connect to Google maps xD I felt like proper Einstein!

Moving on so here I was in my little bubble of happiness and then a dude with a really sharp needle comes and pops it by asking me if I know what html is. Lol I had no clue and it turns out I knew very little, but with the help of a friend we both learned most of the kinks in a day and improved the site greatly. My bubble was back! ^_^ And this time it’s here for keeps, hopefully that is.

We faced a problem with the background and the other Media Heads were toying around with the template so that we could customize the background as per our demand. After supplying the picture I went to check what they had done to site and in their doodles I noticed how they were planning on going about their business. But instead of them I did it and can you believe they never even noticed! It was actually pretty amusing. I mean come on stuff doesn’t fix itself. If neither of you guys did it obviously it was the other Head. Haha xD Anyway so that’s the story of my road to learning how to design websites.

24 hours? So not enough

This is the dilemma I face when the college season starts and I don’t think its gonna improve when I move on to university.  Well that’s IF I even get into a university. Keeping up with the school syllabus,doing homework, planning school events, researching on universities and studying for their entry tests……that’s the stuff I should do and need to do. Of course I’m not going to spend my day doing JUST that, I have a policy that I have to have breaks, for Facebook, movies, music etc. So all in all this long to-do list just can’t be completed within 24 hours. Unless maybe I give up on my sleep, and nope that’s not an option because I love sleeping.

So here are the situations in which a day could be longer….. or could get everything that needs to be done done.

When the earth was formed and decided to start spinning, it could have shown people like me some consideration and spun more slowly, another hour or two would have been welcome with open arms……….The earth could have gotten pulled by the suns gravity a little further away than it is now so there could be more days in a year and hence they teach less per day and give more time for people to do stuff like 200 hours of community service…….But nooooo did the earth or the sun do this? I don’t think the sun would have even noticed if the earth shuffled away a little, but the earth is too ‘attracted’ to the great ball of fire…. When we all get over heated by global warming, the earth will realize the importance of this rant. But no amount of cryings gonna bring us back….no sirree.

OK if the earths going to be stubborn I could hope for a HUGE comet or asteroid to hit the earth and shove it away since its not going to move with nice requests. Of course the asteroid in question would tell us its coming to save the day so we can make preparations to not die when it hits. =P Lol I know this is all pretty far fetched and what not but it sure is fun to imagine and describe xD

Hmmm the earths not the only one that could move this way or that….. the school could change its timings so that they’re more adequate. Like starting at 10 or 11 so the students can get a good nights sleep, end at around 2 or 3. Not that that’ll help much because students are going to be students,no matter how late or early school starts they are going to have problems. I admit that, and yeah I could let go of some of my leisure time but that’s not going to help my situation because I’ve read that without taking breaks your not as productive as you could be 😛 So that’s my excuse. Pretty valid if you ask me.

Yeah this is how they torture us



It wasn’t THAT bad….I kinda like studying cause its interesting but this time we had double lesson and it was a little over whelming (we did more than this,another page or two).

Night before the first day of the last year of college

Excited.This may or may not be how you feel the night or even day before the first day of school after a long and pretty great summer vacation but I’m pumped. I look forward to seeing all my friends again,to actually have something meaningful to do during the time I’m normally sleeping, to start planning and working on projects and to start getting on with my last year of college! Next year its university for me! InshAllah ( if God wills)

I can pretty much predict most of whats gonna happen tommorow…… I’m gonna go to school and be pretty early so I’m gonna sit in the common room with a book (presently reading ‘The host’ by Stephanie Meyer) and wait. After a while people will start to come and ask how my holidays went and congratulate me on my grades. My friends will most probably be the last ones to get to school and then the fun will start 😀 My friends are awesome! You just CAN’T be bored with them around and we always have plenty to talk about. During every period in the day my classmates will try and get the teacher to give us a free lesson cause its the first day, and they won’t get it 😛 The day goes on……I look after my cousins who are new to the school…..kids come up to me and ask about the cricket matches and make other demands, or they might leave that for day 2 or even 3. Might not sound good to you but I’m pretty sure its going to be fun! This is just what i expect. With my friends there its going to be awesome!The one of the things I’m dreading is the praise I MIGHT get for my marks,hopefully people are over it *fingers crossed*……Its so awkward. They think I’m smart but I’m not, and the reason I don’t want people to think I’m smart is that then they’ll start expecting stuff from me. Not good.

The very worst part is that 2 of my best friends (out of our group of  5) aren’t gonna be there…… One of them shifted to America and the other shifted to Saudi Arabia….Those idiots……I wish they were here

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