Category Archives: Poetry

Smile

They think I’m strong
I’m stubborn and independent
Maybe that’s what fooled them

I can do what needs to be done
Pushing forward, feelings aside
Though that doesn’t mean I don’t hurt

I care too much
Get attached too easily
Disappointment and heartbreak 1-0-1

They think I can fight my battles
Like I said, I can do what needs to be done
Though that doesn’t mean I don’t need a help

I’ve learnt to do everything myself
Self preservation more than anything else
Better not hope than cry all the time

Don’t be alarmed
Though yes, this is self pity
But like I said, I’ve grown used to it with time

They think I’m strong
I laugh and cry
Keeping up the act and dying inside

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Now or Never

Maybe I am a bit of an emotional wreck
I think with my heart first and last
Writing helping calm this anguished soul
Unable to escape the present and past

It’s all one and the same
These illusions of time never fooled I
But how do I convey the essence of now
To one who remains distant though I fail to fathom why

We’re getting too accustomed to being hurt by one another
Learning to live without
Learning to expect little
Learning to doubt

Have the years taught us nothing?
Are we really still running these same old dreary loops?
Time and time again
While our youth and love droops

I feel as though I have been impeccably clear
Though you have always evaded with a jeer
The ball’s in your court
I await your verdict with a tear

The clock is ticking
Now or never
And here we stand
As confused as ever

Your piece

Walking on the path back home
Recounting the day gone by,
Dwelling over your own special bits
While kicking stones with a sigh
You look up, taking in your street
Not as a person who belongs,
But as a person passing by
Appreciating  its uniqueness
Seeing it through a strangers eye
Your soul was chosen to live on this road
This was your own little story
The corner that was your piece of the sky
Everyone had their own fragment
Painting their world with a different dye
That is not to say
That those with the same piece
Would be sure to see eye to eye
For you see we each have our own past
Not just a facet of places
But a million things gone awry
An amalgam of emotions and history
That morph even the same places
To our own special piece of the sky

It’s not so easy to understand

If I said this to you
Oh how I wish I could in a way that you would understand

But I’m not good with words
And it’s not so easy to understand

How can I explain all I feel?
As though words can do a shadow of justice to this turmoil inside

It almost feels like a betrayal
Quantifying this overwhelming love I recognize

I know we don’t talk much
I don’t quite understand it myself but I can’t shake away this knowledge

Yes, I saw you
Though we were two blurs in the crowd, I saw each and every one of you

I’ve spent too much time worrying about you
Thinking of you as my own and now as I look back, it’s hard for me to stop

We may never have even talked
But your pain was and is my pain, and your happiness was and is my happiness

You are a part of me
Wherever our paths may take us, you always will be

Even now I’m blank
And these words I’ve managed to get out don’t do you much credit

I may have been merely a means
How sad am I to have let you all in my heart

Where you wreak havoc
Because I expect too much from people who don’t realize I have feelings too

The depth to which I care
Astounds and saddens me, fills me with love and joy, all at the same time

You weren’t just a duty
To me we were all akin to family

I wonder though
Whether I was merely a means. Whether you’ll miss me, as I will you

How pathetic am I?
I probably need therapy

If I said this to you
Oh how I wish I could in a way that you would understand

But I’m not good with words
And it’s not so easy to understand

Off the beaten road

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Off the beaten road, there’s a trail
Unkempt and wild, pulsating with potential
A story untold, take my hand
This what makes life worth living darling

Apprehension

Don’t pretend to care
Don’t apologize
My heart is not a fickle thing
One day this, the other day that
If you beg for a chance, I may just grant it
Though know I, the torture I inflict
My very soul weighed down with the prospect
You see it’s dangerous
Opening myself up like that
But the weakling I am
All it takes is a few seemingly sincere words
And over time my feelings bloom and grow
Bit by bit
Slowly but surely
No amount of reigns
No amount of mirror talks
Naive all the way
I keep myself braced
For the pain of betrayal to engulf me all over again
It’s my fault really
I set the stage
Throw the oil
Ignite the flame, and pass it to you
If you mean to leave, leave
I don’t need this to and fro
If you mean to play, leave
I can’t handle games
Please be kind to me
I don’t know how much more I can handle
Before all hope is exiled
And I too silently die
Like all my age seem to inevitably do

Stalemate

Every time
I plot and I plan but, every time

You mean what you say
Yet I over-analyze what you say, every time

You show me all the ways you don’t care
Yet it’s the same when I realize you don’t care, every time

You reach out, it doesn’t mean anything
I reach back though I know to you it doesn’t mean anything, every time

You probably don’t see
I can’t help but act strong, you probably don’t see, every time

You could be acting strong
That’s what I rationalize, you’re acting strong, every time

You don’t even know
I ache, I break, you don’t even know, every time

Your spell is too powerful
I fight and resist but your spell is too powerful, every time

You are nonchalant
I feel the urge to run and you are nonchalant, every time

I plot and I plan, every time
Every time

It wasn’t just my fault

The double meanings
The subtle hints
They can’t be entirely fictitious
They were most definitely there

Here I was frustrated
Here I was shocked
That I was wrong for so many years
That my delusions had soared that far

Why twist me in such knots?
Why drag it on so long?
Worst part is, I wonder if it was unconscious
Worst part is, I’m still making your excuses

I am so completely drained
I am so completely done
The answer is no clearer
The answer is I must answer

Hell to the no.

Communication

Maybe tis as they say

Thee soul yearns for angst

Yet ache it does

Ache it does

 

To discourse casually through this pain

Thee heart is weak

Yet thou is needed

Thou is loved

 

Thy name is enough to set thee aflutter

Not a fan of confrontation

Yet what does thou know?

What does thou think?

 

Drowning in the regrets and what ifs

Thee wounds run deep

Yet is it too late?

Can we clean the slate?

Confliction

What type of love tears you up inside?
Makes you want to abandon all you believe in
That too without even being asked?

What type of love makes you retreat into yourself?
Makes you struggle over thoughts and words
That too without any care or concern?

What type of love fills you with such desperation?
Makes you willing to love through your own hell
That too without any gratitude or acknowledgement?

What type of love leaves gaping holes in your heart?
Makes you yearn for mere words, true or not
That too without compassion or even a thought?

I’ll tell you
The wrong kind

A Father

It’s nothing he says with an indifferent shrug
Nothing more than usual, worry not

Facade calm and strong
Is it true or not?

With a hand he waves away all but’s
Shaking his head, worry not

Facade sure and dismissive
Is it true or is it not?

Not once does his posture waver, upright, confident
Trivial matters, didn’t I tell you; worry not

Facade decisive and bored
Can it be true or not?

Searching eyes left short, an act so complete
Am I foolish to not worry not?

Facade condescending and fond
I hope it’s true, no nots

Empowerment

Heart aching ever so slightly
Pangs that came before,and now and then
Too painful to take lightly
Too inconsequential to take out a pen

What is has always been
Futile thoughts swimming, before,now and then
Too imposing to be left unseen
Too daunting to face therein

They said I was smart
Practicality never seemed more far-fetched
Too subjective to let emotions part
Too strung to dream of getting unlatched

Fact of the matter is I like it
I am my choices, I am my hopes
Too dreamy to leave it
Too caught up to mope

Heart enlightened with discovery
An independent soul in it’s own world
Too joyous at it’s own inventory
Too happy the idea got sold

Honey it’s GOLD. 😀

 

Bring it on

A setback is nothing
With the wind on your face
With the smell of rain

Disappointment short-lived
With your eyes to the sky
With your heart alight

Tears brushed away
With a hysterical laugh
With a unbodied mind

Life less daunting
With thoughts of some things
With thoughts of everything

Why brood?
With a soul full of love
With a soul ready

Bring it on

Thoughts amuck

Is it enough?
Is it too much?
To ask how you are
To remember the dates
Is it too intense?
Am I coming off strong?
Part of me wants to hold back
Part of me pushes on
Am I taken for granted?
Do you really care?
I feign nonchalance
My insides squirming
Are you upset?
Are you OK?
Worry eats at me
The act doesn’t last long
How are you?
Am I annoying?
I can’t let go
I can’t loosen the reigns
What are you going through?
Can I help?
I cling to our memories
Drawing strength from their strength
Is it enough?
Is it too much?
Emotions haywire
Thoughts running amuck
I’m sorry I can’t be more cool
I’m sorry I’m such a fool

Just Us

20140313_183615Time’s gone by
We never saw it passing
Each second with you guys
Taken for granted
Now with this gaping hole between us
My heart drops as the days pass on
Yearning for your company
For our souls to meet again
To think, there was a time
When you were all there
At the same place
At the same time
I won’t lie, I’ve fantasized about crimes
The world has me desperate
Fate has me frustrated
Tears brim behind my eyes
Your love gives me strength
Crumbling me at the same time
I’ll fight days, weeks, years
With the hope that we
We shall meet once again
All of us, at the same place
At the same time

Onwards I say

Time passes, slow, slower, fast
What do we search for in our past
Staring backwards at what was
With rose tinted eyes abuzz
Yearning for what can never be
Barely looking past what we see
Oh if only this, if only that
Get past it already you old bat
The future is ours for the taking
But it’s so much easier to be complaining
How about taking stuff in strides
Rather than getting washed in the tide
Oh time our fickle foe
Damn do you annoy us so
Forget the bags, ditch the packing
Grab your will and let’s go backpacking

Resolve

It’s been days, I think I’ve forgotten
At the very least gone numb
Yet the dates I do watch
The days I do count

Sudden urges to talk, worrying endlessly
We’ve never been close
Yet the feelings do storm
The urges do come

Worry to frustration, bitter anger surfaces
You utter idiot, complete fool
Yet the facts do remain
The frustrations do come

I loathe you, but that is a feeling
Feelings you are not worth
Yet loathe you I do not
The feelings do come

Patience and faith, I did what I could
It’s your play now
Yet patient I am not
The faith does not come

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